hi all,
Please see Tristen's essay. This essay shows an excellent understanding of the narrative text structure and is very well constructed with the use of varied vocabulary.
“Now, when I was your age, there were obviously no computers or hi-tech gadgets for play, so we entertained ourselves by catching spiders,” the old man said. “And we would bring our prized catch to the village square to challenge our rivals. Obviously, the larger spider had an edge over the smaller species. The winner would be crowned King of Spiders. The honour was his to keep till he was defeated or when his spider died. You had to go deep into the forest to get larger spiders. Not many boys would dare venture into the forest, frightened by the horror stories that their mothers bombarded them with constantly. Obviously, their mothers did not want their sons’ clothes to be dirtied.” Alex listened with mixed feelings; half irritated as the old man kept using the word ‘obviously’ and half longing for the old man to continue.
Alex had volunteered together with nine other classmates to visit a nursing home for a community project. While Alex was serving tea to the patients, he noticed an old man sitting by the window, without the company of the other folks. He felt a flare of commiseration and walked towards the old man and offered him a cup of freshly brewed tea. From a simple introduction, Alex soon found himself engaged in a scintillating conversation, totally immersed in the old man’s adolescent reminisces.
“As for me,” the old man continued while sipping tea, “I was the champion. I was invincible.” His eyes sparkled and the corner of his lip lifted with pride. “But I paid a high price. Once I ventured deep into the forest to hunt for my spider, I snagged my leg on a hunter’s snare. From then on, I never walked the same again…” the old man drifted off with a tinge of poignancy as he massaged his right knee.
The old man shifted his gazed back to Alex and heaved a deep breath before suggesting a walk in the garden. Alex helped the old man up and winced when his skin met slack flesh. While the pair was perambulating the orchid garden, the old man suddenly said, “You look exactly like my son when he was younger.” Intrigued, Alex prodded the old man to elaborate.
The old man gave an anguished expression before pouring his heart out. Alex eyes watered after he heard the old man’s story. The old man was actually abandoned by his son. “I have scrimped and saved all my life just to provide him with the best… and what do I get? Dumped like litter into this dilapidated… this ...” the old man broke off bitterly. “I have not had a real conversation with anyone since I have been here,” the old man said lugubriously. “Thank you, young man, for bearing with me.” Alex felt enraptured to have helped the old man relieve his excruciating pain.
The two were about to return to the main hall when the old man suddenly clutched his chest and started to gasp. Intense consternation drenched Alex like rain as he sprinted back to alert his teacher and the nurses. The nurse called for the ambulance at once.
But it was too late. The old man’s mouth was flecked with foam and his face was pale-blue. Alex watched lachrymosely as the paramedics pulled a white cloth over the old man.
If only Alex could see the old man now, laughing and drinking with his old friends, looking happily down at him, telling him that a felicitous life awaited him in Paradise; he would not have been overcome with grief. Earlier, as the paramedics were wheeling the gurney to the ambulance, Alex’s classmates had to restrain him as he tugged at the old man, as though trying to wake him up from his perpetual slumber.
Done by: Tristen Ng (41)
Class: 1A
School: Victoria School, Singapore
very very nice